


The Most Wonderful Time

by BarbaraKaterina



Series: What If [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Christmas Party, F/F, F/M, First Meetings, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Lady Loki, Pre-Canon, Pre-Iron Man 1, Pre-Thor (2011)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 04:32:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17036720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarbaraKaterina/pseuds/BarbaraKaterina
Summary: Christmas is just this really irritating time when everyone talks about family for Tony, but Christmas parties he can get behind. Especially when there are women like that to be picked up...





	The Most Wonderful Time

Christmas parties, in Tony’s opinion, were the only good thing about the season, and mostly because suddenly it was not only OK, but even expected to spend every night getting drunk at parties.

Not that Tony generally thought too much about what people thought about his behaviour, but it was funny, in a way, when what was condemned all year as his wasteful lifestyle suddenly became the social norm for a week or two.

It also always meant a fresh influx of bangeable people into the party pool, which Tony very much appreciated, because normally there was a limited number of decent-looking women – and sometimes men – around he’d be willing to go to bed with, and he almost never did anyone twice, because he couldn’t be bothered to deal with the expectations that raised.

So he was headed to that evening’s Christmas charity gala or whatever with distinct hopes of finding someone interesting, and he had in fact had his assistant book the penthouse suite in the hotel where it was taking place, because it was too much of a bother getting a one-night stand all the way back to Malibu.

At first, the evening didn’t look too promising. It was the same old crowd he had seen in LA so many times, and once again he considered getting a new base of operations in NY. Not his old family mansion, he never wanted to set a foot in it again, but something new, something that would allow him to change the scene from time to time.

He tried to console himself with drink, but as usual at these things, the quality was shit. If he wanted good alcohol, he should have stayed at his own bar.

He was just about to give up on this event, when he turned around and saw an absolutely stunning woman.

Even better, she was a stunning woman he had never seen before, which was extremely rare and extremely appreciated.

She was dressed in a rather low-cut dress and her cleavage was pefection. She was tall and slim, and when she walked the slit in her dress revealed one incredibly long leg. Her dress was emerald green, a shade that brought her her amazingly brilliant green eyes, and her black hair fell down in waves around her face, in a stunning contrast with her light skin. The whole alluring image was cometed by the glitter of gold jewellery and gold accents in her dress. Tony _approved_.

He also saw how the gazes of most men and some women in the room were immediately drawn to her, and without further ado, he grabbed two glasses of champagne and strode in her direction. He was absolutely not letting anyone snatch her from under his nose.

“Good evening,” he murmured into her ear, standing behind her and a little to the side. “You look like the most attractive Christmas tree I have ever seen.”

She turned, giving him a sceptical look. “A tree?” She said. “Because my dress is green? Your pick-up lines need some work.”

“Christmas tree,” he corrected. “You’re very ornamental, and you make me want to unwrap...” he raked his eyes over her, “everything about you.”

She rolled her eyes at him, and he shrugged. “Hey, I was trying to keep to the festive atmosphere with my pick up lines. Sparkling wine?” He offered, handing over the glass.

She arched her eyebrow at him even as she took it. Her expression was a little quizzical, but it also looked relatively encouraging.

“It's cheap swill,” he said unabashedly, motioning to the glass, “but if you're interested, I have better in my suite. I suppose I could even order eggnog, if you insisted.”

The woman wrinkled her nose even as her lips curved into a tiny smile. “No, thank you, that won’t be necessary.” She paused. “You certainly don't go slow, do you?”

“Honey, if I don't make a move immediately, someone else is gonna snatch you,” he said simply and truthfully. He could see a few men watching his progress out of the corner of their eyes.

“I am not as easy to snatch as you seem to believe,” she chided, though she didn’t stop smiling.

“Well, you're still talking to me, so at the very least you clearly weren't offended,” Tony pointed out.

“Not at all. In that sense, I'm easy enough. But I do, in fact, have some discernment of my own, and do not just get snatched by the first man to step my way.”

“Worse luck for me, then,” Tony conceded with a shrug. “If I can't interest you in good champagne, what would do the trick?”

The woman gave him a slow once-over. It was a little discomfiting, in the sense that he wasn’t usually on the receiving end of this kind of look. When he was, it tended to be from men, but even with them, they simply knew who he was and that was enough. He wondered if this woman somehow mysteriously missed it. The idea was intriguing.

“Actually,” the woman said when she finished her perusal, “the champagne sounds great.”

Tony grinned. “Awesome. If you’d accompany me, then…?” He turned towards the elevators, offering his arm.

The woman took it, stepping very close, and having her pressed against his side was _very_ pleasant. Some idiot was calling after him, something about the awards ceremony, but Tony paid him no mind, thinking of the breasts that were pushed to his chest from the side. This was suddenly looking like a very promising evening.

He didn’t waste any time and had her pressed against the wall in the elevator as soon as the door closed behind them. Not only did she not mind, she was eager, as her mouth opened for him and she even raised one leg a little to pull him closer. The elevator really couldn’t get to the top soon enough.

He pressed her to the wall once they were in his suite, and concentrated on her intriguingly long neck for a time, until he was satisfied with the mark he left there, and her state of breathlessness. He himself was fully hard by now. “Can I unwrap my gift now, then?” He asked, sliding his hands under the edges of her dress on her shoulders.

She raised her eyebrow again. “I believe I was promised champagne?”

Tony groaned, but obligingly, he extracted himself and went to fetch champagne and strawberries from the small fridge. She followed after him, and gave a curious look to the Christmas decoration in the room. “Ah,” she said, looking at the tree wrapped in gold tinsel, “Christmas tree.”

Tony wondered whether she was from some country with a different religious tradition, and whether that was a problem for tonight. But she had followed him up here, so he shrugged it off and, taking the bottle, two glasses, and the bowl of fruit, he motioned to the bed. 

They settled there comfortably, and he fed her the berries until her lips were all glistening with their juice, and then he kissed it all away. Afterwards, his lips proceeded lower and lower, she obligingly removing her clothes from the way.

Tony spent a long time on her breasts – her perfect, amazing breasts – and when he drove her out of her mind with that, to his extreme smugness, he continued lower. She tasted amazing, and made the most erotic sounds when he licked into her. It was only after she came for the second time that Tony took off his trousers – by this point extremely uncomfortable – and she reached for him eagerly, circling him with her hand and her thumb brushing over the head of his cock, playing with the slit for a moment before he had to stop her, too worried he wouldn’t last, which, really, was normally absolutely not a concern of his.

Even under him, she was amazing, meeting his every thrust even with her legs over his shoulders, somehow. He came with a shout, and a vague thought that this was his best sex in years, if not ever.

She only gave him about half an hour’s respite before she got him hard again, with her mouth, and then rode him to her satisfaction. He fell asleep completely exhausted.

-

In the morning, what woke him was movement.

He dragged his eyes open to try and orient himself, and blinked when he saw there was a man in bed with him. A man who bore distinct similarities to the woman from yesterday, including having the exact same bright green eyes.

“All right, I know I drank last night, but not that much,” Tony muttered. “I remember bringing a woman to bed. Are you her evil twin, here to avenge her honour?”

The man grinned. “Not quite. And surely if I was here to avenge someone's honour, I wouldn't be evil?” 

“Eh,” Tony shrugged. “Morality is a matter of your point of view, and from mine, protectively patriarchal big brothers are definitely evil,” he pointed out.

The man’s grin widened, and his eyes sparkled with pleasure.

“But seriously, what happened?” Tony insisted, sleepy and confused. “Because you're really similar to the woman from last night, but…” 

The man seemed to hesitate, and then his image sort of flickered and...the woman from last night was before him.

He stared.

In a few moments she was gone and the man was before him again, but it took some time more for Tony to find his voice.

“Wow,” he said. “That is...so cool.” He might have found his voice, that didn’t mean his brain was at full capacity or his was capable of forming coherent sentences, all right? “The best Christmas surprise ever,” he added as he kept staring, examining the man as if trying to find the places where the woman would show through.

“So, are you a shape-shifting mutant?” he asked, rising up on his elbows, when an actual theory that made sense managed to penetrate the morning fog, the shock, and the sheer coolness factor.

“Something like that,” the man replied, sounding a little surprised.

Tony nodded. That made sense, he supposed. He considered it a little further as his brain progressed sluggishly towards wakefulness. “You know,” he pointed out, “there was no need to change into a woman to sleep with me. “

The man’s smile disappeared as if it never existed, and he began to rise from the bed. “I assure you,” he said coldly, “that I did not change forms for your benefit.” 

Tony internally winced, cursing his slow morning brain, and put up his hands in surrender. “Whoa, sorry, bad joke. What I meant to say is, if you wanted a repeat performance in this form, I wouldn't be opposed at all.” 

The man stopped his retreat, and gave him a considering look. “What if I wanted to top?” He asked, and even to Tony’s tired brain, it sounded like a test.

Tony just grinned, and said completely honestly, “Go right ahead.” 

The man’s grin reappeared, and while he did not end up topping, Tony didn’t think he regretted staying at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Some years later, when Agent Coulson handed Tony a tablet with a photo of certain Asgardian invader, many things would suddenly click into place.
> 
> This is a prequel of sorts to another long story about Tony and Loki I have planned, but which I have absolutely forbidden myself from posting until I finish End Of A Rope. I'll make this the first part of a series so that you can subscribe if you're interested when I finally get around to posting it.
> 
> For those of you waiting for the next End of a Rope chapter, I hope one will come later this week. I really really hope. 
> 
> I hope your parties go as well as Tony's, and happy holidays!


End file.
